March: Giving My Fear a Voice At The Table
It didn't feel right to release this blog post March 1st. So, here we are - March 16th, nearing the end of the month.
Let's talk about the first half, though, because my god it was powerful.
March has this overwhelming feeling of trusting & allowing.
This is the message Lindsay Mack shared on her Tarot for the Wild Soul Podcast for March: TRUST AND ALLOW. In all forms.
This played out in my life clearly & terrifyingly in the first half of March:
- I used my voice to speak up about my needs & preferences. Trusting that whatever response I received from the other person was out of my hands. Allowing myself to be heard.
- I committed to a coach training program that begins next Thursday. Trusting my inner voice to follow my joy. Allowing myself to go along for the ride, fear in tow.
- I committed to a 30 Day Audio Challenge to practice using my voice. Trusting my intuition (again, with fear and resistance). Allowing myself to be heard.
- I left a position that didn't feel right. Trusting my gut. Allowing myself to free-fall.
- I set a date to host my first-ever webinar. Trusting that I have it in me. Allowing the process to happen.
So. much. trust.
AND I've had a tough time sleeping. I spent full days with a racing mind, wondering what'll happen if I tell her this? What if I don't find another source of income? What if I miss a day of my audio challenge? What if this is the wrong decision? What if I can't afford this?
All the what-if's. ALL the possible scenarios.
That, my friends, is Fear.
My card for March: Seven of Swords
Pulling this card, I felt confused. This card's come up multiple times in the past few months. Back in November, I did a spread around moving back to Sudbury and what it meant for me. This card showed up in that spread as "me" (in the celtic cross spread). Ummmmm... what?
In The Wild Unknown Tarot Guidebook, it's described as:
"Secrecy / Self-Interest. Six swords hang in plain view, while the seventh is tucked under the sly fox's tail. So goes the story of the seven of swords... a secret is being kept [...] Deceit and avoidance linger in the air."
Nothing about that description resonated at first. So, I pulled three cards to clarify it's meaning for me:
- Ten of Cups
- Ace of Cups
- Two of Pentacles (February's medicine)
For me, these all felt like fulfilling, positive change. New beginnings. Feeling joyful and full.
And that's when it clicked.
My medicine for the second-half of March is to be with my fear.
To stop hiding from it and ignoring it. To be with it so I can see what it's pointing me to. Only then will I be able to fully feel the joy and fulfillment I'm receiving from this new beginning.
Swords is about mental energy. Sevens are about internal work. I need to work with the part of me that believes I don't have enough. I need to say "hey, I see you, I hear you, what do you need to tell me? What are you pointing me to?"
Let me be clear: This DOES NOT mean go into "story-mode" and "what-if-mode" along with my fear.
It DOES mean "making peace with the part of me that's petrified" --> Be With - style.
- Noticing when I'm feeling afraid
- Giving my fear my attention
- Getting curious about what my fear's saying
- Asking what support this scared part of me needs
I'm actually going to print out Barbara's entire blog post on "How to Tame Your Fear" and put it on my office wall as a giant reminder. Because that's the support I need to help myself start doing this loving action.
Take care of you the rest of this month. It's a big one! Two full moons bookending March with a new moon (tomorrow - the 17th) to boot. A perfect time for change, trusting and allowing, and really for whatever you need right now.
Love & light,