Presence is Powerful: The Spiralic Expansion / Contraction Cycle
This is an update post on the contraction x expansion process I’m moving through right now. Many of us experience this as it’s the natural cycle of life, the rhythm of it. Expand, contract, expand, contract. I thought I’d share this reflection with y’all who are in the same boat. Seeing the fear and expanding at the same time. You are not alone.
it starts with expansion
I’m on the edge of big expansion, big growth in my life. Even more presence. I’m being invited to open myself, my heart through more presence — more being here right now with myself and others. Not just in coaching, but in my close relationships, friendships, and even new acquaintances.
then, the fear
Then, there’s the fear that comes up, gnawing at my brain till I wake up and give it attention. Can’t I just feed it a grape (like Martha says)? It doesn’t seem to work. I’d be feeding it grapes all day long.
Our Yoga teacher was saying last night that it’s our primal brain that responds to heart trauma (ie. abandonment) with fear. It holds fear as it's default to protect us. Hello nervous system — most of ours probably need extra extra support calming down.
My brain holds onto fear like it’s its last life boat — gripping, trying to save me and itself from being hurt. It wants us both to survive. This whole grow and expand thing is not how we were kept safe before. Being vulnerable with people close to us often resulted in judgement or shame.
hold the part of you that’s afraid
I’m so sorry that happened.
You didn’t deserve that.
That judgement and shame was unfair, hurtful, wrong.
Yet, it happened and here we are. That was our experience.
I know you’re still hurting from it. Those people didn’t know how to care for you, or for themselves — they were just doing their best. We are going to be okay.
In fact, we’re going to be more than okay. We’re going to be safe. We’re going to experience pleasure, deep love, gratitude, and joy. BIG joy. Connection, too — more connection than we’ve ever experienced.
This will be uncomfortable at first. We are not used to feeling this much and being present with it. We’re expanding our capacity to receive and to hold space. To give the gift of a container to ourselves and others.
We know presence is powerful and we’re feeling that with each new experience we take on. There’s massive growth to be found in groups. There’s massive growth to be unlocked around sexuality, wild woman-ness, and getting to know myself in new ways. Witchy ways, crafty ways, tender ways. Dance-like-nobody’s-watching kinda ways. Because I want to go deep — with others and with myself. And that starts with me, getting deeper with me.
I wonder what that will look like… I can only imagine where this will take me.
“This year I am choosing to live beyond my wildest dreams. I wonder where they’ll take me.” - Oprah Winfrey